23rd of May 2010
So, it is here at last. I have reached that age – that “middle-age” of, yes of 50!
I don’t feel 50 – however, one is supposed to feel. I only don’t feel like I thought I should feel when I was a teenager and discussing being half-a-century old with my dear friend, Ellis. Well, she has a few years to go yet. I still feel the same, like a little kid trying to find my way in this world of ours.
Sure things have changed, and yes I am more “grown-up” since then. I have a job, a house, and a feline family to look after. One of my parents is no more and the other one is much older. And a lot of things have become clearer. But…other things continue to confuse and I continue to seek answers. I still like to do “naughty” things, still get pleasure from small fun things, from seeing my friends, from having fun, from playing games. Still get sad from sad things, big and small.
So what has changed? My physical appearance – yes (although most people think I have just reached 40 when I mention significant birthday). I have more aches and pains. I am a bit less fit. I need glasses to read! So those are the changes. But otherwise I am the same as when I was 20, 30, 40 and now 50.
No, there is a change. A bit of sadness that time is passing and I haven’t done all the things I wanted to do yet. And there is less of that feeling that “I can change the world”. Those two things are different.
But otherwise I am still 21 years old at heart and mind.
I had a good party in any case – need to celebrate it – not commiserate it. Here are some photos from this do! Loved the cake.
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